Help (Somebody Please)

I know a lot of you saw the "I Had It All the Time" post and were wondering where it came from. Well, I posted in a way that did not effectively communicate my point. However, it's time to have a "keep it real" moment folks. I gotta pull out the soap box again. This time's topic: asking for help and being angry when you get it.

Let me start by saying this: when I try to help people, I try to help them. When I'm asked for advice, I give it. It does nobody any good to just regurgitate what you want to hear, ESPECIALLY with matters of the heart. I believe that if something is REALLY lopsided against your best interests, having someone tell you what you want to hear and keep you in your fog of denial only causes you to waste your time and increase the amount of heartbreak. I don't SEEK out instances to give you advice about your life, but when you come to me and lay it on me, asking what I think, I will reply as you have asked. Do not hold it against me for doing what you asked.

I have a friend who was having some issues with the guy she was involved with and she called me up, to ask my advice. As she was running the situation down to me, it was obvious that there was some emotional no-good going on with him, so when she was done, she asked what I thought, and I told her just that. However, instead of taking it as an objective opinion (which it was), she morphed it into some attack on her. She immediately switched the focus of the conversation to me and why I was talking to her that way and I knew nothing about how she felt. She belted out a laundry list of things she liked about him and then asked herself why she was explaining all this to me. Apparently, I was too crazy and stupid to comprehend what she was telling me, and said she doesn't need me telling her about her life and who to love, said "thank you very much" quite saucily, and hung up in my face.

When is it being pushy, and when is it just trying to help the person? The LAST thing I wanted was for her to be hurt, which is why I helped her. Then, I get attacked like that, it almost makes you not want to help people. Gang, I honestly ask you all to look at what's going on. Do not ask for help if you cannot take it when it is offered. Friend, if you are reading this, you are always welcome to ask me for help, but do remember that I am who I am, and I will keep it real with you as I have for the many years we've known each other. Pznluv.

-B