Funny I see this. Man, some of you motherfuckin men just don't get it. I was overhearing a discussion and some confused man bought his girl a dildo. 'because she wanted one'.
Niggas be flippin out talking bout, 'she into that freaky shit'. Cut the bullshit man. Dildos are demonic in nature and their intent. Go ahead, buy her one like the dumbass you are. You are just giving her more of an arsenal because everytime she is using it, she's putting another nigga's face with it. You going out kickin it, while she's left at home getting fucked by some device called Thor: God of Thunder. I mean, if you ain't handling business, she'll just ween you off the pussy entirely. You'll have to start reflecting on the last time you got some pussy and her side of the bed looks like one big ass K-Y Jelly stain.
Fuck that shit man and save yourself the headache. Buy her something safe, something that doesn't provide motive. If you get her a purse, she expects money. Buy her a necklace, she want's the charm and matching watch. This is what you do. Buy her a gift certificate to your favorite store then start suggesting shit you need. Buy her a roadside assistance plan because you are tired of fixing her shit in below zero weather. If she has that, raise the cost of life insurance on her. That'll make her a little nervous around you when you are mad. If you have done all the above and then some, you've spent too much fuckin money on her anyways.
Fuck man-made holidays
-B
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