Love For the Sake Of Love

We all love positive, intimate attention. Whether in the form of a one-on-one with a parent or relations with a lover, we all like being closely linked to those who we feel will make us feel good. Our emotions come to the surface, and we no longer are men or women, changing ourselves to fit societal roles: we become emoting human beings. Like Jackie Wilson says, what a wonderful feeling to be loved.

Then, there are times where se feel the way we feel based on the feeling alone, neglecting to see the person attached to the feeling. In our heart of hearts, we know the person is a jerk, yet that feeling of intimacy and caring gives us an excuse to keep the wool over our eyes. You suddenly feel that you love them, and of course they loved you if they knew they could make you feel this way and continue to do it.

Who needs the world when we can float on a feeling? The feeling becomes your drug, crack for your cardiac. You move in together, getting heart-highs off one another, being each other's emotional pusher while you live amongst the grime and slime of the real world. The naysayers know nothing about your situation or how they make you feel. To you, they are outsiders and ball-busters trying to end your fun. They don't want to see you happy. They just wanna STOMP on your feelings.

Sure, you fight with them all the time, but dang if it dosn't make for some of the best make-up sex on Earth. Besides, don't the best of couples have rough times? Sure, I'm working less and shirking responsibilities by this time, but I get to be under my lover. MMMMM. Oh, what a feeling!

Fight and fuck, bite and suck. Eat me, explore me, fill me, thrill me. That person is all you're living for by this point. The drug has become your pulse. Your adulation manifests itself through sweet voices, tender touches, and sexual contact. You don't talk to them, but they aren't the feeling, the feeling is. Besides, doesn't real love speak without words?

The deeper you fall in love, the deeper you fall. Then, one day, you wake up to find yourself on a mattress on the floor. You look around. Your personal possessions are gone. You look around. Nobody is there. You are frantically kicking around in a pool of the love you created, calling out for help. Nobody comes. You find yourself all alone, used, abused, and abandoned.

Suddenly, you look for things to put the pieces of your life back together, finding nothing. You play the "if only" and "shoulda, woulda, coulda" games. You want your wasted time back. Your goal becomes to get back at that feeling. You curse at the image of others feeling the feeling you yearn and burn for. Not wanting to seem weak, you hide your feelings from all that ask, hardening your heart. Good people come into your life, but you think they are one of "them", so you step on their hearts, beating them while they are down.

Then, you see them one day. They don't recognize you. What do you do?

-B