I Can't Go For That

While I was in Dallas, I was away from my American Chopper DVD's. However, I've come upon the show "Penn & Teller: Bullshit!", a show that debunks the urban myths of certain phenomena. From the death penalty to ouija boards to reparations, they show how these things are (or can be) considered bullshit, declaring shenanigans by scientific explanation and experimentation. This got me to thinking about what is bullshit, and how they can be pulled off. I've come up with 5 things that can fuel people to fall for bullshit (in no particular order):

1. Relying on immeasureable things: A lot of things like "feng shui" and ouija boards rely on energy and cannot be substantiated by science. Like religion, these things are based on faith, and the best thing they can say is "believe it or not." The fact that someone feels an energy field taking them over presents no guarantee that it will take someone else over. However, the purveyor of certain things will do their best to convince you that this energy dictates your behavior. Science doesn't support the claim and the presence of the energy has no physical symptoms, but these people play it up like their side of the arguement is the gospel. "You can't believe it until it happens to you," they'll say. Yet and still, the truth will manifest itself. Meanwhile, what do you sit there and say? BULLSHIT!!
   
   
2. Fear and Compassion: With this, post-9/11 U.S. comes to mind. Politicians use the fear of future terrorist acts so that you can follow along with their political agendas. Same thing with post-Katrina U.S. They use the threat of a "Second Katrina" to scare people into purchasing supplies (at an inflated cost), so that you'll be protected. It's amazing what people will do if they are genuinely afraid of something. Also, the compassion of people can be preyed upon. These are the ones who use that "my mother is sick in Ghana. send me $400 for her operation." These people don't know you from Adam, but they feel compelled to ask for exhorbitant amounts of money, hoping that you will give compassionately out of the goodness of your heart, with no return on your investment or anything. BULLSHIT!!
   
   
3. Financial Agendas: You know, it's AMAZING what people do when they want to make money. It's mind-blowing to see how people suddenly have your welfare in their heart when they are writing a book or giving a seminar. Come to my home where I can help you to improve your life using coincidental occurences and mindfucking for a nominal fee. Not saying all seminars are bull-hickey. Some are very informative and have good long-lasting effects. However, there are some that use fluff-talk about an intriguing subject to masquerade nonsense as fact and to infest other people's minds with BULLSHIT!!
   
   
4. Instant Gratification: Weight loss, money, success, and relationships. We want it, and we want it NOW! So of course we're gonna be in a mad rush to buy some pill that's guaranteed to cause rapid weight loss or make my penis 3" longer in 2 weeks. Using this frenzy, some people use the mystique of the future to make people believe in verbal diarrhea. Put together a package, explain how it works, slap on an arbitrary timeline to desired results, and push it on people. The beautiful thing about these products is that it cannot be proven to skeptics, so it's either buy and win the battle of the bulge, or remain skeptical and miss out on a wonderful thing! Then again, placebo medicines are rampant, so your results may not be the advertised results. The companies can even get out of responsibility using the fine print "Results not typical/Results may vary." So, by the time you realize that the treatment is a con, it's too late. You've spent your money, and you sit there a victim, yelling "BULLSHIT!!"
   
   
5. Political Wording: It was Winston Churchill who said "there are 3 types of lies: lies, damn lies, and statistics." A lot of people will tell you things, using statistics to support their claim. They don't tell you WHO they polled, how they phrased their questioning or anything. We know that there are cons throughout the world who pimp people all the time with their clever wording. Advertising is the biggest example of this. At the end of the day, it's all about selling the product you put out there. You use certain facts about the product to present it as a fabulous alternative to other products. Also, a lot of environmental groups and hippies and health nuts would have you believe that globaliztion is bad and harm to animals and plants is hurting the Earth, blah blah blah. On an episode of Bullshit, they went to an Environmental protest and started a petition to ban "dihydrogen monoxide," from being put in food that we put in our bodies. Later, after getting an assload of signatures, the woman revealed that they were signing to ban WATER!! Combine a shitty product with bulldoggery and fanciful wording, you have BULLSHIT!
   

Sensationalism is a bitch. It's amazing what people will do when attacked by these lobbyists. Selling the promise of action is more important than selling truth. It always has and always will. Can't there be a mixture of the two, so that people cannot be victimized? Crap, this sucks. Misleading bullshit!!

-B