Respect

Question: how do you appropriately address a woman as a well-mannered African-American man? I was at a crawfish boil my cousin's friend's family was throwing, and I was sitting next to one of the guy's aunts. She asked me a question, to which I replied "yes ma'am". She then gleefully cackled "oh no, ain't no 'ma'am'! I ain't THAT old!!!" This has never made sense to me. Since when does calling someone "ma'am" dictate that they were an old maid. As I knew it, "ma'am" was a term of respect that you give to a woman of peer or higher age. Later on, I said it again, and she asked me in private, and I explained that it was the way I was raised. She asked my cousin about it, and he explained to her that "we were all brought up proper." Proper or not, I believe it's respectful, whether you're in the hood or in the boardroom. I don't believe in straightening myself up just because I'm in a particular environment. If I can use polite and respectful language in a "high-falootin'" environment, why can't I use it in some informal setting? Somebody explain this to me...

-B