Too Young

During my tenure as a party-ologist (I know you've been reading my theories), I've been able to detect when I'm in the midst of those within the juvenile realm. So, I've compiled a list of just some of the hints.

You know you're at a juvie event when:

• The "bar" is only selling soda.
  
• Instead of cigarette smoke, you smell bubble gum in the air.
  
• You're the only one with facial hair.
  
• The cover charge is a single-digit, odd number.
  
• The above is true, yet has a ton of performing artists.
  
• Males are still doing black moshpits.
  
• There are re-entry fees.
  
• Partygoers are being dropped off.
  
• Females have barrettes in their hair.
  
• The picture man is using backgrounds with cartoon characters.
  
• Weed is only smelled on people's clothes.
  

Thank you for your time.

-B