Morning Sunrise

There are many ways I could have presented this blog. I could have storyboarded it, poeticized it, ranted about it in esoteric, intricate detail, or even monumentalize the events and ideas with a symbol or picture. I won't do any of that. Not only can certain ideas get lost in translation, this is something that needs to be said.

Men mess up, even the good ones. Sometimes, we can get so caught up in being good that we unexpectedly hurt those we care about. In turn, we then sometimes, shield ourselves to avoid being hurt ourselves. Not out of vindication, but out of self-defense. However, we sometimes act in a manner that triggers us to do just that: act without the fortitude to think first. Sometimes these actions can be minute, or they can be monumental. Likewise, the damage from such actions could be irreparable, due to the degree of the pain we've inflicted.

This is what happens when one of the three pillars to a good relationship is missing: COMMUNICATION. When folk go around assuming things, it screws it up for everyone. A particular occurence can feel so good or can bring so much joy, that after a while, we just go out on faith (and assume) that it is at our beck and call as we near it. Men like good things and good people around them. Sometimes, we can believe (in) these good people to the point that we want to believe that they want us around a lot, too. This may very well be true, but the degrees and lengths of time may vary. This is where most predicaments come in. What someone may view as a fun time may be a burden on the other person. Miscommunications burn priceless bridges, many of which many men have spents days and nights and cried to many songs over, wishing for another chance.

People, we must learn that we cannot burden ourselves on others or assume them to be as big of philathropists as we are. We cannot EXPECT people to be nice and ASSUME they can provide help. The best we can do is ask, and the worst they can do is say no. I, myself, put the reputation of an entire city on the shoulders of a friend I know, and a couple screwups have turned me off from that entire city. Is/was it fair? Hell no. You think you don't wanna tell the person, because honestly, who needs that kind of pressure. Then again, it goes back to what I said: MISCOMMUNICATION. How are they supposed to know that their lack of genorosity of resources that aren't even theirs would have led you to spend nights sleeping in your car? It wasn't in the plan when you got there, so taking your frustration from that situation out on them is not fair.

Tangents aside, you gotta look at the big picture (talking to men and women). Moral high ground is a term Dr. Phil likes to use. I like to interpret it as this: it should never be about WHO'S right, it should be about WHAT'S right. Fighting over who had the proverbial upper-hand is as foolish and insipid a way to come to a consensus as ever. Another thing: admitting fault and apologizing is not a sign of defeat. Some men (even the good ones) have this feeling, that by them saying they were sorry, it somehow demasculinizes them, and they are put at the mercy of the person they are apologizing to. That, or they do what they can to find fault in others, so that they don't appear flawed by themselves.

I've seen and learned by example that this is about as Neanderthal of a concept as any. Anybody who cannot fess up to their own wrongdoings or cannot own up for their part in making something wrong is not someone who should be around long. Everyone wants credit for the good and NO credit for the bad. This is human nature as we all know, but let's break the chains. We can control no one but ourselves, and guilt-triping others and trying to appear mentally superior to everyone will only leave you out in the cold alone. I'll change the world by starting with myself.

I'M SORRY. I know I'm rambling, but I just don't want to see Summer go.

-B