I Wanna Thank You

I would like to thank everybody who has reached out with their condolences. As I said earlier, I DID attend the funeral, and it was very surreal. I just could not get the fact that the body in that casket was my friend. I went up to kneel before her, but I couldn't bring myself to look directly in her face. During the final viewing (before they closed the casket), I did tell her goodbye and kissed her on her forehead. Let me tell you. Kissing a dead body is like kissing cold metal. You could tell that they sucked the blood from her, because it was like kissing a cold skull that was overlaid with this film called skin.

Why am I being so graphic (and forgive me if I am)? It's simply because death is still pretty new to me. Yea, I'm aware of the obvious stuff about death (it happens to everybody, etc.), but to this point, I've been lucky to not have a lot of people that are close to me die. Of course, I know this will not be the case forever, and everybody has their day, but up to this point, I haven't had to deal with it much. It's a horrible feeling, especially when it's somebody that you're close to.

On a good note, I know she would have wanted everybody who attended to smile and to live life to the max. It's quite refreshing to know she was a good woman, because I know her aura of positivity is all over the place (much like letting her love light shine).

I felt like crap for most of the day, but my crying shoulders have made this experience much easier to deal with. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart.


-B