Breakin' All the Rules

As I stated before, I have been working while I've been partying. It seems like every trip over to N. Arnoult teaches me a new nugget of info. This time, I was able to hammer into the world's toughest question: how do I get to the point of the dance? Conversely, how do Category 3's and 4's keep intrusive midsections from interfering with their good time? Well, I'm at a point where I can let you all in on the big secret to club success...

5 Tips for Men to Get the Dance


1. Watch the Woman's Environment: As stated in the 10 Club Commandments, a watchful eye can save you a lot of heartache and grief. Spend your first half hour or so being observant of who is doing what, who IS and who ISN'T dancing, who's rejecting, who's allowing, etc. Scope out some prospects and make mental notes of them. Rome wasn't built in a day, and unless you're a drop dead gorgeous celebrity, you'll more than likely need a game plan.
   
2. Patience is a Virtue: The biggest mistake that I see a lot of rookies make is rushing into the first thing that looks promising. A large butt doesn't always consitute a Category 5. If you are one that takes rejection on the chin, pace yourself. See who will NOT be out to play you.
   
3. Take Rejection Well: One thing you may not know about the club is that people ARE watching. The others are watching those who are getting turned on and how they react. Nobody wants to deal with a hothead, ESPECIALLY in a place where everyone's there to have fun. There are little things you can do to take the rejection without appearing unrefined. Class goes a longer way than most people give credit for.
   
4. Approach Slowly: If you intend on a direct approach, approach slowly. It's bad enough you're trying to connect with this woman without speaking. Don't make it worse on yourself by rushing in. Approach slowly, giving her time to turn you down before you get there, saving you the need to save face if you are rejected.
   
5. Two Words: Do You: Unless you're there with your boys or whatever, you're not there to make friends. If you see someone you would like to dance with, focus on who you want to dance with, not what person is making himself competition for you. It all comes down to the fact that she will probably dance with the first person that successfully gets to her. Also, once you've achieved the dance, do not feel like you HAVE to give your dance up because some guy is yelling "lemme get on that, bruh" in your ear 5 times a minute. If you want to dance with her, continue dancing. There are only two people that can stop that dance: you or her. Keep it that way.
   

5 Tips for Women to Keep Men Off Them While Dancing


1. Don't Turn Into Officer Bitch You Out When Rejecting Someone: For some reason, what would seem to be effective in repelling women has a different effect on men. Due to the "hard to get" bull, sometimes these guys interpret this as an invitation to turn a no into a yes. I know you just want to get the person off your case, but there are ways to tell 'em like there aren't ways to tell 'em. Also, I don't know if it's just New Orleans males, but I've noticed that turning down one of them magically turns into an opportunity for him to call his boys over to harrass you. Grabbing yoour behind while dancing, cat calls, heckling, arm grabbing, etc. Of course, you can never control who approaches you, but it's always good to employ tact.
   
2. Don't Dance on the Dance Floor: I've notices that there is a large percentage of people that do not want to be bothered staying away from the target area. This is a good move. If you see that a chief percentage of the harrassment is happening on the dance floor, stay away. Confine yourself to the social macking area or with your back to a wall. Do not put yourself in a place to be annoyed. This not only gives you time to dance as you want to, but you can send the message that you're not with the "dancing together" thing in a very indirect way.
   
3. Remain Consistent in Your Rejection: If you're a 3 and you wanna keep everyone at bay, reject EVERYONE the same way. Don't reject one person right off the bat and give the next guy a few seconds in before you reject him. This confuses some guys into thinking you are a Category 4, and that will consequently push them to try their luck. As I stated before, people's eyes are very much open and paying attention to you as the dancer. Get the message out EARLY that you aren't having it, and believe it or not, most men will respect that.
   
4. Keep Friends Around to Watch Your Back: Just as with walking home and going trick-or-treating, there is power in numbers. There is a smaller chance of a group of say 3's getting harrassed because the group isn't having it and will look out for their kind. Even if you're the only 3 or 4 in your group, if your girls have your back, they will look out for you and respect your boundaries. This helps in preventing you from doing that awkward confrontation, as they can keep them at bay. They will tell you how a guy is reacting to your rejection, how not to dance, where the safe spots are, etc. We're all there to have a good time. Let's get it crackin'.
   
5. Don't Dance: I know this may be a bitter pill for some to swallow, but just as with sex, the only way to avoid any static is to stay away from the target activity altogether. Men who just wanna grind on behind tend to not target those that are not dancing, so maybe you can play on this fact to your advantage. Granted, it's not the preferred way to go about it, but dang, if it isn't effective!!
   

There you have it, ladies and gents. The secret is out. Guys know how to start it, girls know how to stop it. Take the secrets you have learned in good health and use them for the betterment of others. Enjoy!

-B