It's A Terrible Thing To Waste Your Love

I was speaking to a woman the other day (let's call her Jennifer) about what was going about a common bond we share. She listens to the Michael Baisden show every day, and she tells me the topic everyday. Even though I don't agree with much of Mike's ideas and the presentation of them, sometimes, he hits on some good topics sometimes.

Well, that day, the topic was deadbeat dads. Mike was ONLY letting women call in to comment on deadbeat dads and their effect on the children and whatnot. There were men who would try to sneak in and backlash against mothers using their children as pawns, but Mike wouldn't let them speak, because that very topic was going to be next week, allowing men to get their just dues and time to fight back.

Jennifer then asked me if I had grown up with both of my parents, to which I replied yes. She then began to tell me about all the things that had happened with her growing up and the men that came into her life, most specifically the male figures in her life. She told me about her biological father and all "her mother's husbands" and their effect on her ability to be with men long-term. She was talking about how her father wasn't jack from start to finish and how his actions led her to care less and less about him, to the point that she didn't attend his funeral when he died. She talked about how her mother's future husbands would disrespect her, look over her, "try to be her daddy", etc. and their effect on her. She recanted a story about attacking one of them when he "tried to be a man and yell at her for something stupid", as she said. She explained how vile these men were and how she could never understand what led her mother to be with these people. She concluded by saying this is the reason she has not gotten married and could never live with a man. "I would want to kill him," she said with no hint of joke or jest.

Normally, when a male bashing monologue would come out, Gender Defender would come out and try to get them to see why her views on men shouldn't be gender-wide. This time, though, I just stood there silent, listening to every word. This was the first time a woman had just come out and said what had happened and WHY this affected he view on my gender so hard. My proverbial eyes were opened by the words and wisdom she spoke. You could see that this wasn't hate she was speaking, but rather her expressing herself from a very real place. In this instance, I actually UNDERSTOOD her concept for humans with the XY chromosome.

Then, I thought about what would or should happen, should a man want to be with a woman who possesses this type of outlook based on a history of men she should have been able to look up to not amounting to shit in her book. Is it even a wise move to TRY to "break" this habit and try to get her to open her heart to him? Is it wrong to want to love that person, hoping that the love would be reciprocated? Jennifer is a decent bit older than I am, so this is not anything that has just become an issue.

I guess being raised the "blessed" way (with both parents) has my eyes to the naive notion that someone can find love in any circumstance and that the power of God bringing someone into your life can open your heart up to the possibility of someone breaking the mold. On the other hand, not being one who suffered from such a situation, I cannot speak from the perspective of being THAT scorned. Would loving someone like that be a waste? Are you really wasting your time trying to show that person that everyone is not like those that hurt them, or do you let stone remain stone? How does one convince someone to hack away at coal at the hope of finding a diamond?

As The Masqueraders have said, it's a terrible thing to waste your love. Conversely, they ALSO said it's a terrible thing to waste your love "when you've got me, to love you tenderly." I ask, which is the case in this scenario? Can love truly conquer ALL or is this a case of a hopeless cause? Things that make you go "hmmmm..."

-B