Respect

Through my many readers and their many different opinions about my many blogs, most of you have wondered what I personally think about women and what I think about women: which I like and which I don't. Men and women alike have asked me both directly and indirectly about the women I'm into. For the longest time, I've given a concise listing, but for the first time, I will lay it all out. The following is MY list that I rep wholeheartedly.

• Spirituality - This is the paramount, essential, mandatory, must-have, etc. I can't leave enough strong words to express how valuable spirituality is to me. A woman who can proudly hold it down as a glowing reflection of her higher power is worthy of all due respect, because it's not easy. Besides, if I see this woman as a relationship option, God MUST co-sign on it, or you better start playing Biz Markie (old heads will know what song I'm referencing). If you cannot say with all of you where you come from, I respect where you may go, but it won't be with me.
  
  
• Business Sense - It's been said "you'll always lose money chasing (wo)men, but you'll never lose (wo)men chasing money." I dig this train of thinking. Even if I'm all alone, I STILL have a duty to live. My father raised me with the mindset of "a man can take care of himself", and I believe it. People who meet me now KNOW that I'm into my business game heavy, and in order for you to move on, you've gotta respect that.
  
  Conversely, I respect the hell out of a woman who has a sense of accomplishment about herself. I know many women are out there doing it big, but there are those who deal with issues that are thrown at them and there are those that go above and beyond to GET those blessings that are on the horizon. If you're in school, DO school. If you are totally into your career, DO that. If you're into opening your heart to who could become your man, DO that. This goes back to the previous blog. Damn all this being afraid of failure. Life is for the taking and those that GET it will get it. Do you, boo boo, cuz I'm surely doing me.
  
  
• Intelligence - As anyone will tell you, I am far from a fool. My mind is my greatest gift, and I plan to honor the blessing. A brain is so sexy, so a woman who can present her mind as her most beautiful asset get major props from me. A person of great intellectual capacity equates to most as great potential for versatility. Of course, there are some nerdy jerks, but I think that any man or woman should be HONORED to be called a "nerd" or "geek" (coming from a geek). A woman I work with was wearing glasses today, and I said "Oh, you've got your glasses on today, huh?" She said "Do I look like a nerd, because if I do, I'll take them off!" Ask people who know and they'll tell you, "Brainy" is sexy...
  
  
• Creativity - Unique people stand out. People who are able to bring a sense of themselves and incorporate into everything they do is a very attractive feature that anybody would love to be around. Independent thought expressed through creative outlets are like brownie points in action, because they indicate attention and excitement. This is why people like gifts rather than money (in most cases). They like to see what people's minds will come up with and how it will play into their lives.
  
  Beating around the bush aside, I love this quality, because I refuse to make any relationship I'm a part of "The Brandon Show". I'm not hired entertainment, so those who cannot give as well as they receive become a bore. If the only reason you're around me is to be entertained by my unique gifts, allow me to send you a bill of services rendered. I know I'm quirky, funny, unique, creative, amazing, etc., and I have no problems conveying that. Someone who can bring that same sense of singularity and pizazz gets high marks.
  
  
• Positivity - Let me say that again. POSITIVITY. I am a magnet for positive energy, and I love it when I'm able to be around people who are able to embrace and accentuate the positive, while being a realist about the negative. Don't get me wrong, I know that everyday isn't rosy sunshine, but I everyday isn't a drag, either. I cannot get with people who are ALWAYS negative or only bring problems to me. I've had to stop people in the middle of a harangue and say "did anything POSITIVE happen to you?!", because a constant onslaught of negativity is DRAINING. I mean, I love helping people and being a beam of reason and hope when you're down (hey, we all need people like that), but if that's all I'm going to be, then you should be paying me and lying on a couch. My middle school teacher tried to explain the convention of negative/positive multiplication with this analogy:
  
  

  "If you have two positive or negative people (positive/negative numbers), then the outcome will be positive, because they are so alike that they just gel well together. If you have one positive and one negative, though, the outcome will be negative, because these two personalities will clash when fused together..."

  
  
  To this, I say amen. Positivity is a GOOD thing.
  
  
• Self-Control - Now, I have to elaborate on this one. By self-control, I simply mean control of self. To know one's self and to remain true to it is a beautiful thing. A continuous erratic flurry of emotions only leads to chaos, because it doesn't allow the other person to see who you really are. If you are all for something, and then, when it's on the verge of happening, you second guess it, and feel another way. Then, afterwards, you think it over, and you come to a different conclusion. If that was confusing to read, it's even MORE confusing to endure. Women who can stick by their choices get a world of respect from me. If I'm expected to be a man about mine, a lady should also be able to rise to the challenge of life and handle her business.
  
  
• Self-Awareness - I've had this talk with many people and written about this subject a few times here. Basically, I'm going back to talking about women who are aware of how they come off and they mind themselves in certain situations and atmospheres. I go to the ever popular "scantly-clad woman in the club" example. I respect womanhood to the best of my ability, sure, but I cannot get with the fact that these women put themselves out there like that WANTING the attention, but not liking it when they get it. If I walk into a McDonald's with an employee's uniform on, Joe Blow has every right to walk up to me, thinking I work there, and address me as such. I know you like showing off that you have a large butt, but baby, you've GOTTA be aware of the consequences. That word "wanting" has me segueing into my next point...
  
  
• Gift Management - Gift management?! What in the world? It simply means this: many people CLAIM they want something, but are incapable of handling it when they come across it. This was covered in my last blog, so I'm not going to go into hella detail about it. I just wanted to list it as a definite item of note. If you're willing and able to put in the same amount of work at gift maintenance as you did with gift reception, I ovate you.
  
  
• Children - Yep, that's right. Mr. "I Don't Date Women With Children" (click words to link to blog explaining why) respects the angel in single mothers. Raising a child is a gift that everybody is not afforded. Women who take on the task of performing this amazing feat of strength blows me away. I wish I could give them all a week of rest, just to let them know I understand. Single mothers, I know there's no way I can feel what you go through everyday, but to the depths of who I am, I proclaim LOUDLY that I respect you to the utmost. God bless you all.
  
  
• Confidence - Women with confidence rock, I just can't say that enough. A woman who is willing to kick, push her way to what she wants, unafraid of being judged, doing something wrong, or plagued by insecurity. One of my frat brothers said "you think long, you think wrong". There comes a time in life where you have to stop thinking and just do it. My parents say "the worst someone can do is tell you 'no'." So many people FEAR the word no that they are willing to remain miserable. I don't think there is anything wrong with people who feel that way, but I also don't think that it will get you very far. I am not a mind reader by hobby or profession, so I don't have the time to dig into any body's head to see what they really want and address it. If you're too scared to go for yours, I will be, too.
  
  
• Sexuality - Let's not kid ourselves. This topic is soooo controversial, I've cracked a couple eggshells just mentioning it. There are quite a few women out there that fear their own sexuality. A woman who can come out of her own skin and rep that part of herself is very respectable. Yes, this even applies to promiscuous women. Even though a promiscuous woman isn't the brand of woman I would just outright trip over myself running to, a promiscuous woman who doesn't see it as a badge of shame and PROTECTS herself (STD's are no joke!) commands respect. Even though you may not agree, you gotta respect her mind.
  
  Also, I think that people who are afraid of coming out and exposing that side of them over time (no body's trying to do it upon first glance, come on!), especially if they know that's a part of who they are, are a drag. I don't know if sex is another man initiative, but a lot of times, I don't really hear women mention sex around other men if it's not to break them down or to speak about what should not be done or safety options. Even though the sexual part of us shouldn't be our leading foot, I believe people should be comfortable in their own underwear. My cousin once asked me "what's something a woman has never asked you that you've always wanted her to?" For the longest time, I couldn't think of something until now. The answer? "Are you a sexual person?" Watch America eat THAT up.
  
  
• Assumption-Free - Kanye West said "when you assume, you make an 'ass' out of 'u' and 'me." Well, I'm sure others have said it as well, but I know he said it. A woman who opts to run on assumptions as opposed to doing research and unearthing the truth has no purpose around me.
  
  For example, I own a stainless silver ring with a black cross etched into it. It is a BEAUTIFUL ring that I wear everywhere I go. It was a gift I received in August of 2005 that I cherish dearly. It was a surprise gift, so of course, I didn't know what size it would be. Luckily, the size guess was right.
  
  What's the problem? The ring looks JUST like a wedding band. Also, let's pile on the fact that I'm left-handed and favor my jewelry on my left hand/wrist/arm. So,when I want to wear the ring, I can't put it on my ring finger for obvious reasons. My solution was to wear it on my left middle finger. After all this, I STILL have women who assume I'm married, but instead of asking about it, they just rule me out as another married man trying to hit on them (what the heck is wrong with these creeping married men?!).
  
  I don't respect this foolishness at ALL. If you want to assume, assume yourself dismissed.
  
  
• Versatility - I know this will probably run together with creativity, but hobbies are attractive. Women who admit that they are boring will probably have a hard time getting with people who aren't. I have a great deal of respect for women who can inspire and motivate me. A woman of many options and many avenues of enjoyment are excitement. A woman who can PLAN and ARRANGE meetings?! Grab the smelling salts, because I'm about to faint...
  
  
• Acceptance - Acceptance means acceptance of the positive. A woman who cannot accept a compliment as a compliment is offensive. Every time a guy compliments a woman, it's not always coupled with a hidden agenda. While this is a minor thing, I still respect a woman who is capable of this.
  

Women of integrity, valor, beauty, respect, and honesty are not only respectable, but sexy as all get out. A woman is more than a body, which is why I did not include anything physical on the list. Heaven spare life, the physical WILL change, but who they are is what counts in the long-term. To these ladies, I salute you...

-B