Chain of Fools

This is the name of MTV's latest attempt to whore out the emotions of "real people" for money. In this show, the child has a mate that the parents can't stand. The mother and father both have an opportunity to pick a person for their child to go out on a date with, while the parents and the mate watch at home in the same room. After the child goes on the two dates (one for each person picked by the parents), the child makes a decision amongst the 3 of them.

Enter De Andre. A black guy, in his low 20'. He has a bit...I mean GIRLFRIEND by the name of Dominique, who he has been with for 2 years. He likes her "cornbread thickness" and whatever else. His mom and stepdad can't stand her. They think she's disrespectful and the mom feels she is not right for her son. They both pick out a woman each for young De Andre to go out with. His mom picks a UCLA student who is majoring in nursing and plays the violin, not to mention is a KNOCKOUT. The stepfather picks a woman who was in the military and is a bombshell as well.

Of course, the girlfriend is pissed with the whole arrangment and makes snide remarks throughout. The 4 of them (De Andre, his mom, his stepdad, and Dominique) sit in the living room, waiting on the first date to arrive. The UCLA student knocks on the door and picks De Andre up. The stepdad is rubbing his mittens, happy with his choice for the young lad. Dominique quickly tries to jealously cut into him, to which the stepdad jokingly retorts with how good of a person his pick is. She makes a disrespectfully snide remark to HIM and the mother checks her "do NOT talk like that to my mate," sternly, but classily. The date is at an ice skating rink. Before they go out on the ice, she had a present for him. She presents this nice wooly cap/hat as a gift, which he gladly accepts. They order the skates and talk to each other and open up. They get out on the ice and she says she's in school and the whole deal. She asks what he does, and lo and behold, he's a rapper. She says she plays violin and would like to hook up with him to do something musically together. He says "yea, definitely" and they are holding hands, skating and liking each other's company. Dominique is eating this up, now attacking HIM and his hobbies and how they're so boring. They end the date back on the benches where she gives him a peck on the lips, much to Dominique's chagrin. He comes back on cloud nine, pimp smile intact.

He's only home for a commercial break, though, as his mom's pick knocks on the door. It's the military woman with a shirt that says "Hotter Than Your Girlfriend" in pretty gold lettering. Dominique eats this up like an English muffin, sarcastically complimenting it. They go off to a paintball range. Dominique is saying how she looks better with the paintball mask and coveralls on and uses the word "bitch" rather loosely. De Andre loses the match, but he's a winner with his mom and stepdad, who are all smiles. Dominique (damn, I get pissed just typing her name!) on the other hand is PISSED. She makes a comment, and the mom makes a comment like "did you learn anything in finishing school?" Dom. replies "yea, it taught me that you're a ghetto bitch." The mom IMMEDIATELY checks her. "YOU GOT ONE MORE TIME TO CALL ME A BITCH AND IT IS GOING DOWN!!!" The date ends rather unceremoniously with De Andre scoring 2 kisses on the cheek.

He gets back home and has to make a decision. The 3 women are standing shoulder-to-shoulder and De Andre compliments all three of them, building up the suspense. He then tells the military woman that she was a wonderful person, but he sees her as more of a friend and a homegirl than a dating option, and he turns her down. She accepts it like a soldier and walks out the door. Then, it's down to Dom. and the UCLA student. He looks like it's a hard decision. He then chooses...DOMINIQUE!!!! He says that with her being a UCLA student and a nurse major and a violinist and outgoing that she won't have any time for him. She STORMS OUT AND SLAMS THE DOOR, not saying a word to anyone on her way out. De Andre brings out the "cornbread thickness" comment again and comments on the 2 year history. Dom. checks HIM about going out with those other women, to which he replies by professing his allegience to her. The mom, hugging her man, says "if Dominique stays in his life, he's out the house." Roll end credits.

This was SO unbelieveable, I had to share it with you all. I wish I had it taped. You can see the season preview for this show here. To that UCLA and military woman, if you're reading this, it wasn't you. It was him. Drop me a line.

-B